


mamma mia, does it show again?

by kattyshack



Series: snowflakes [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Jealousy, Jon Snow Has No Chill, Scheming, Secret Relationship, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattyshack/pseuds/kattyshack
Summary: prompt fill (@soapieturner): “they don’t know that we know they know we know” (loosely based on f.r.i.e.n.d.s): In which Jon and Sansa think they’re -so slick-, but their friends aren’t so easily fooled.(title from “mamma mia,” by abba)





	mamma mia, does it show again?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soapieturner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soapieturner/gifts).



> a/n: i had far too much fun with this. the receipts are in the word count, which is a -tad- ludicrous for a texting fic, but what’s done is done and it’s all entirely, utter nonsense.

_prologue: the one with all the backstory_

**ARYA** : you gotta hit on jon tonight

 **MARGAERY** : ew.

 **ARYA** : what, he’s cute, right? i guess?

 **ARYA** : i’ve heard girls think he’s cute. and satin. girls and satin. what does loras think?

 **LORAS** : He’s *okay*

 **ARYA** : margaery stop adding people to our texts

 **MARGAERY** : why? the last time it ended with you confessing your designs on gendry’s bod to the man himself. he was positively chuffed and you’ve been sleeping together ever since. so what, pray tell, did i do wrong?

 **LORAS** : Incidentally, Gendry is hotter than Jon. So why don’t you let Marg hit on your boyfriend instead?

 **ARYA** : bc i’m not trying to expose gendry’s sexual liaisons with my sister!!!!

 **LORAS** : …Is Gendry having sexual liaisons with your sister? Because I could kick his arse, you know. I *have* kicked his arse.

 **MARGAERY** : chivalrous as always. but no fear—gendry’s not sleeping with sansa. jon is.

 **ARYA** : YOU KNOW????

 **ARYA** : did sansa tell you??? how is it that she told YOU and not ME?? doesn’t blood mean anything anymore?????

 **MARGAERY** : take a sedative, sparky, she hasn’t told me anything. it’s just obvious. plus i caught jon sneaking out of our shower and back into her room on saturday.

 **MARGAERY** : and before you have another conniption fit, i DID ask her about it. she said there was a leak or something at jon’s place so his shower was out for a few days. i couldn’t exactly contest that, either, you know i don’t know anything about plumbing.

 **ARYA** : saturday?? so you’re telling me that instead of working like he SAID he was and that’s why he couldn’t come play footie, he was DEFILING MY SISTER??

 **MARGAERY** : has anyone ever told you that you and robb are eerily similar? and by that i mean you’re both completely irrational when it comes to sansa’s love life. so she and jon are fucking. what’s the big dealio?

 **LORAS** : Yeah, Sansa could use a good lay.

 **ARYA** : if it’s not a “big dealio” then WHY ARE THEY SNEAKING AROUND??

 **MARGAERY** : find your chill, babycakes. they’re probably afraid you’ll start shouting at them, or that you’ll come at jon like a wrathful spider monkey.

 **LORAS** : Sansa and Jon are both notoriously bad at relationships, too. They probably don’t want the pressure. Let them orgasm in peace, for god’s sake.

 **MARGAERY** : seconded. what on earth could i accomplish by hitting on jon tonight? or ever, for that matter?

 **ARYA** : TO EXPOSE THEM!!!!

 **MARGAERY** : what, you think sansa’s going to go into a jealous rage or something? doubtful. she’s the most rational person i know. she’d probably just ask me what i’d been drinking. jon is so not my type. i’d sooner hit on sansa. i HAVE hit on sansa.

 **LORAS** : You know… Arya might be onto something, though.

 **ARYA** : THANK YOU

 **LORAS** : Hang on to that grateful feeling, spider monkey, because you’re not gonna like what I have to say next.

 **ARYA** : …………

 **LORAS** : Jon and Sansa have been fucking for six months at minimum.

 **MARGAERY** : ooooooh, the plot thickens!

 **ARYA** : _typing…_

 **ARYA** : _typing…_

 **ARYA** : _typing…_

 **LORAS** : Okay, stop that. They don’t know I know. *I* didn’t even know for sure at first. It was like right after Sansa and Joff broke up. A bunch of us were supposed to play poker at Sam’s because, you know, we’re MEN. Anyway, Gilly’s baby was sick and she basically told us to GTFO because she’s a boss bitch and everyone but me was being obnoxious.

 **ARYA** : are any of these details necessary to explain your betrayal?

 **LORAS** : Okay, calm down, ROBB. As I was saying…

 **LORAS** : So we hit the pubs. Jon was glued to his phone the whole night and I took advantage of his steadily inebriated state to take a peek. I’ll spare you the sordid details, but he was texting Sansa. And “texting” is the PG version.

 **MARGAERY** : how delicious!

 **ARYA** : my eye seems to have developed a twitch

 **LORAS** : Oh, and later we ran into Joffrey. He must’ve thought he could commiserate with us or something about how godawful women are. It’s actually sort of comical. Picture it: me, Renly, Jon, Edd, Sam, Podrick, Gendry… Like, could you imagine a group of men more impatient with the likes of Joff’s bullshit?

 **LORAS** : Anyway, point is, Joff was drunk and talking shit about Sansa. So naturally Jon gave him a black eye. Which wouldn’t have automatically made me think “Oh, so he’s definitely fucking Sansa, then,” but like I said, there were the sexts to consider, too.

 **LORAS** : …and by sexts I mean totally platonic conversation about their devotion to our lord and saviour.

 **LORAS** : …and by that I mean god was indeed mentioned, if you count “God, I wanna eat your pussy.”

 **ARYA** : excuse me i have to go pour acid into my eyes

 **LORAS** : WAIT I’M NOT FINISHED

 **ARYA** : WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO SAY TO ME????

 **LORAS** : Okay, SO, obviously Jon punched Joffrey’s lights out because Joff has more dick in his personality than he does in his pants (and Joff’s one of those people who thinks size is relevant to sexual prowess, but anyway), but Jon *also* threatened Harry Hardyng with bodily harm like two months ago.

 **MARGAERY** : i thought hardyng was one of your mates?

 **LORAS** : Not so much. He’s just another guy on the rugby team. Anyway, he asked Tormund about “the hot redhead” who paints his jersey number on her face at matches—because gingers have to stick together, E L I T I S T S—and Harry was all “Because I’d like her on *my* face, ifyouknowwhatImean.” Which, by the way, is a fine example of Harry’s complete lack of self-awareness. He’d never let a girl sit on his face. He only cares about getting his dick wet.

 **ARYA** : i want you to know that i’m blocking your number

 **LORAS** : Be quiet. Anyway. So Harry’s saying his spiel and I swear to our true lord and saviour Kesha, Jon’s going through some, like, wolfman transformation. Like, freeze frame, tense shoulders, set jaw, the eye twitch. I was, in a word, *shooketh*

 **LORAS** : Harry doesn’t notice because he’s an idiot. He’s being gross, I’d so rather read all of Jon and Sansa’s sexts than listen to this another second, but before I can relieve my face from its disgusted contortion and tell him to pump the brakes, Jon’s in his face. IN. HIS. FACE. He fucking shoves him!! And he’s got the growl on, you know? “One more word, Hardyng, and I’ll break your fucking nose.”

 **MARGAERY** : ooh, now *i’m* shooketh !!

 **ARYA** : i don’t even know what that means but i want to break hardyng’s nose now too

 **LORAS** : All in good time. After much deliberation, though, my point is that Marg hitting on Jon won’t do us any good if you want to ~expose them. Sansa has a sense of humor, she’ll just laugh. Jon, though… Well, we get someone to put the moves on Sansa, and the cat’s out of the fuckin’ bag.

 **ARYA** : i literally didn’t need any of this information to get to this conclusion 

 **LORAS** : You just have no appreciation for dramatic flair. But that’s an issue for another time. For now, have you got the guest list for tonight?

 **ARYA** : guest list? it’s a fucking barbeque, loras, i don’t fucking know

 **MARGAERY** : i’ve just pulled up the facebook event. there are a few potential candidates who might agree to our little plot. shall we meet for drinks to discuss our options?

 **ARYA** : do i have a choice

 **LORAS** : No. Meet at the Crossroads Pub in twenty. I’m footing the tab.

 **ARYA** : you had me at free drinks. see you in twenty.

* * *

_-the one with the barbeque-_

_part 1: the one where jon is jealous_

**JON** : Who’s that?

 **SANSA** : Why are you texting me?

 **JON** : I asked you first!

 **SANSA** : Your question doesn’t make any sense.

 **JON** : Is that… that’s not Sam’s brother, is it?

 **JON** : Is that Dickon??

 **SANSA** : That’s what he said his name was, so I’d wager yes.

 **JON** : He didn’t used to look like that.

 **SANSA** : I legitimately do not understand why you’re telling me this.

 **JON** : He used to be all… scrawny. Shorter, too. When the hell did Dickon get taller than me??

 **SANSA** : Would you like me to ask him?

 **JON** : No! Don’t ask him about his far superior body!! Are you trying to give me some sort of complex??

 **SANSA** : How many beers have you had?

 **JON** : Don’t change the subject.

 **SANSA** : On the contrary, this is entirely relevant. I need to know how dramatic you plan on getting tonight, and your blood/alcohol level is necessary to my calculations.

 **JON** : You think you’re so clever.

 **JON** : Quit talking to Dickon and argue with me!

 **SANSA** : Were we arguing?

 **JON** : Yes. It must have gotten lost in translation. Texting really isn’t the ideal format for an argument. We should go somewhere private and hash this out.

 **SANSA** : Do you have any suggestions?

 **JON** : Gendry’s dad’s house is huge. There’s got to be a few empty bedrooms in there, and like a million closets.

 **SANSA** : You want to argue with me in a closet?

 **JON** : I do, yes.

 **JON** : Now say goodbye to Dickon and I’ll meet you inside in approx four and a half minutes as to deter any suspicion. Although I suppose you could tell Dickon that you’ve got to cut him off for a quickie with your boyfriend. He seems trustworthy enough, I’m sure he won’t tell anyone.

 **SANSA** : I thought you wanted to argue, what’s this about a quickie?

 **JON** : It’s makeup sex.

 **SANSA** : I wish there was “strip your boyfriend of paranoia” sex.

 **JON** : I’m not paranoid! He’s staring at your tits!!

 **SANSA** : So do you!

 **JON** : I’m allowed!!

 **SANSA** : Sweetheart.

 **SANSA** : …Jon?

 **JON** : Oh, I’m sorry, was that “sweetheart” meant for me, or did you mean to say that to DICKON?

 **SANSA** : What are you being so sullen for? D’you want me to take off my jumper and show him the “I HEART JON SNOW” t-shirt I wear under all my clothes?

 **JON** : That was a gag gift I ordered while drunk, I told you you didn’t have to wear it.

 **JON** : And no, I DON’T want you to TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES IN FRONT OF DICKON. In fact, I don’t think you’re wearing enough clothes. Do you want my jumper, too?

 **SANSA** : I want you to relax.

 **JON** : I haven’t been relaxed in thirty years.

 **SANSA** : You’re only twenty-seven.

 **SANSA** : Now stop sulking and go stop Rickon from roasting all the food. I don’t know who let him on the grill but he’s having a field day.

 **JON** : Fine.

 **JON** : We’re still fighting later.

 **SANSA** : Looking forward to it, lover. ;*

* * *

_part 2: the one where loras sings abba_

**LORAS** : I think it’s working. Jon’s got his barely-contained rage face on.

 **MARGAERY** : he’s been shooting murderous looks at dickon for fifteen minutes, i swear i’m about to pee my pants

 **ARYA** : thanks for that, margaery

 **ARYA** : do you think they’re texting? sansa keeps smirking and jon’s checking his phone every two seconds

 **ARYA** : god, do you think they’re sexting?? in public???

 **MARGAERY** : who sexts in private? if you’ve got privacy you might as well get straight to business.

 **LORAS** : They’re being so obvious, I’ve rewritten the lyrics to “Mamma Mia” to suit this situation.

 **ARYA** : loras no

 **MARGAERY** : LORAS YES

 **LORAS** : Well, if you insist…

 **ARYA** : i do not

 **LORAS** : Mamma mia, here they go again  
My, my, how can he resist her?  
Mamma mia, does it show again  
My, my, yes it fucking does, sir

Yes, she’s been sexually deprived!  
Dry ‘til the day he arrived!  
My, my, now it really shows  
Mamma mia, now everybody knows

Just one look and their love is transcendent  
One more look and she’s halfway to pregnant!

Mamma mia, here they go again  
My, my, how can she resist him?  
Mamma mia, does it show again  
My, my, YEAH IT’S THE MOST OBVIOUS THING IN THE FUCKING WOOOOORLD

 **ARYA** : oh my god

 **MARGAERY** : the beat’s a bit off but the spirit’s certainly there

 **ARYA** : remind me to never stage a coup with the pair of you ever again

 **LORAS** : “Coup” is a strong word for reconfiguring ABBA lyrics to suit the not-so-secret sex life of our friends.

 **MARGAERY** : i almost feel bad for dickon. we did *tell* him of our intentions, but he seems far too sweet for us to sic jon on him like this.

 **ARYA** : uh dickon’s got about a foot on jon, i think he can manage

 **LORAS** : How much longer until Jon loses it? Should we open up the betting pool?

 **ARYA** : i’ll give him another hour

 **MARGAERY** : you have too much faith in him. thirty minutes, tops.

 **LORAS** : Please. I’m giving him ten. Took less than half that for him to go for Harry’s jugular. Not literally, but… nearly.

 **MARGAERY** : 60 minutes, 30, and 10. okay, lady and gent, starting the timer now. best of luck to the both of you.

 **MARGAERY** : although the best you’ll be able to do is second place, as i’m going to win.

 **ARYA** : on the contrary, there are no winners. our investment in this situation pretty much concludes that we’re the biggest losers of all time

 **LORAS** : You started it. You have no one to blame but yourself.

 **ARYA** : cheers

* * *

_part 3: the one where no one has any chill_

**JON** : What is your brother’s PROBLEM

 **SAM** : Well, sometimes he’s a bit shy, I suppose, but it’s not so much a “problem” as it used to be.

 **JON** : NO that’s not what I meant.

 **JON** : Why is he following Sansa around like some sort of lovesick puppy??

 **SAM** : …Are we talking about Dickon, or you?

 **JON** : What? I’ve barely spoken to Sansa all night!

 **SAM** : Much to your obvious displeasure. Quit staring at her. You look like Ghost when he wants a treat he’s being refused. I’m half-expecting you to start whimpering.

 **JON** : _typing…_

 **JON** : _typing…_

 **JON** : I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not staring at her. I hardly even look at her. Ever.

 **SAM** : HAHAHAHAAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

 **JON** : That was really unnecessary.

 **SAM** : “I hardly even look at her.” Don’t make me LAUGH, Jon. You somehow manage to be both Mr. Darcy AND Mr. Bingley over Sansa—brooding and doting and utterly ridiculous. And STARING like she’s the eighth wonder of the world.

 **JON** : I assume you’re trying to insult me. But the joke’s on you, because Pride & Prejudice (2005) happens to be one of my favorite films.

 **SAM** : You say that like I haven’t caught you rewatching the hand flex scene for the thousandth time in one sitting. I KNOW it’s one of your favorite films—that’s why I made the comparison. I thought it might resonate with you.

 **JON** : I would never insult Sansa’s family. I love her family. They’re practically *my* family.

 **SAM** : You would, however, insult mine just because my brother happens to be chatting with her. You’re so transparent.

 **JON** : My concern for Sansa’s well-being is entirely platonic, I will have you know.

 **SAM** : No, it’s not!! You love her.

 **JON** : Like a brother!

 **SAM** : The brother from Flowers in the Attic, maybe.

 **JON** : I’m not her brother, though! So it wouldn’t be… It’d be fine.

 **SAM** : You’re the one who equated your love for her with that of a brother. So make up your mind. And do it quick, or for all you know she could be leaving with Dickon tonight.

 **JON** : _typing…_

 **JON** : _typing…_

 **JON** : _typing…_

 **JON** : What the fuck, Sam

___

 **SANSA** : Did you call me on purpose?

 **JON** : Meet me inside. Time to fight.

___

 **ARYA** : DID YOU SEE THAT??

 **MARGAERY** : the only thing i’ve seen is the way yara greyjoy clearly wants to get on this. i’ve also seen into the future that says i’m totally going to let her. what are *you* talking about?

 **ARYA** : jon practically dragged sansa into the house!! dickon just gave me the thumbs-up!!!

 **LORAS** : It’s been seventeen minutes. Looks like we’re all losers in more ways than one.

___

 **JON** : Do you know why Loras texted me a link to “Mamma Mia”?

 **ARYA** : what no

 **ARYA** : why would you assume that i of all people would understand the intricate machinations of loras tyrell’s brain?

 **JON** : You’ve been sidling up to both Tyrells all night. Like the three of you are in cahoots.

 **ARYA** : “in cahoots”? what is this, a 1930s detective movie? fuck off

 **ARYA** : you know, a better question would be why you’ve been in one of your Moods™ all night, up until you went inside with sansa for HALF AN HOUR and now you look -real- pleased with yourself. what’s THAT about, hmmmm?

 **ARYA** : HMMMMMMMMMM???????

 **JON** : _typing…_

 **ARYA** : why did you show her my text just now?? what’s she whispering to you??

 **ARYA** : I CAN SEE YOU, YOU KNOW

 **JON** : She was a little overwhelmed by Dickon’s attentions, so I pretended I got a splinter and I needed her help to get it out.

 **ARYA** : is “splinter” a euphemism for “dick” now?

 **JON** : BLOCKED

 **ARYA** : prick

___

 **SANSA** : What exactly are you implying?

 **ARYA** : how many pina coladas have you had ?

 **SANSA** : God, like… six? Probably six.

 **ARYA** : great so you should be drunk enough to tell me that you and jon are BANGING

 **SANSA** : _typing…_

 **SANSA** : What the hell’s in that jungle juice you’ve been drinking? Or did Hot Pie make pot brownies again because you’re CLEARLY on something.

 **ARYA** : yeah i’m *ON* TO YOU AND JON

 **SANSA** : You’re being belligerent again.

 **ARYA** : YOU’RE BEING EVASIVE

 **ARYA** : and your hair’s a mess. if you’re going to “lowkey” fuck jon in the bathroom or wherever, take the time to pull yourself together, woman

 **SANSA** : It’s windy!

 **ARYA** : SANSA YOU HAVE SEX HAIR

 **SANSA** : Listen, my battery’s low. Can we talk about this later? Or forget it happened entirely? I’m not picky.

 **ARYA** : yeah we’ll have lunch soon and talk it all out, bc i want d e t a i l s. just let me know when you can tear yourself away from an afternoon delight with JON, of all people, who knew he had it in him to jump your bones tbh

 **SANSA** : _typing…_

 **SANSA** : You know what, I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

___

 **ARYA** : they went inside AGAIN

 **LORAS** : I’m sure Jon just got another “splinter.”

 **LORAS** : Which, if you don’t know, is obviously code for “stiffy.”

 **ARYA** : i can’t take this anymore. i’m going to follow them. catch them in the act.

 **LORAS** : …you sure you wanna do that? You might not like what you see. That is to say, if you wanted to douse your eyes in acid when I told you about the sexting, you’re absolutely going to rip them right out of their sockets after catching Jon and Sansa ~gettin’ down up against the nearest wall.

 **ARYA** : they went inside ten seconds ago, i’ll probably just catch them kissing and that’s quite enough evidentiary support.

 **LORAS** : Far be it from me to talk a Stark out of doing something fuckin’ stupid, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 **ARYA** : *eye roll* you and your dramatic flair

 **LORAS** : Just know that I’m humming the funeral march for you as you walk willingly into the path of the beast with two backs.

 **ARYA** : and you all say *i* overreact…

 **LORAS** : *dun dun dundun dun dundun dundun dun dundun*

* * *

_part 4: the one where everyone finds out_

**MARGAERY** : did i just hear arya scream? that was a real buzzkill, you know, yara and i are trying to make out in the kitchen.

 **LORAS** : I did tell her not to walk in on Jon and Sansa, but she insisted she’d only play witness to an innocent exchange of chaste kisses. She probably expected Jon to be kissing her sister’s hand or something ludicrous.

 **MARGAERY** : oh, our poor little wrathful spider monkey

 **LORAS** : Speaking of wrathful spider monkeys… The three of them just stumbled out of the house, Arya’s shouting, Jon’s shouting, Sansa looks rather amused despite the furious blush that clashes horribly with her hair.

 **LORAS** : LMAO Jon’s trousers are undone. Sansa’s reclasping her bra under her shirt, which is really impressive, actually…

 **LORAS** : Do you want me to continue the play-by-play, or shall I leave you to your rendezvous?

 **MARGAERY** : play-by-play. yara wants to know, too, but if we go back out now we’ll have to slip away again after. such a drag.

 **LORAS** : Too true.

 **LORAS** : They’ve attracted quite a bit of attention. The rest of Sansa’s siblings are in on it now. Robb looks like someone just told him they kick puppies for fun. Rickon doesn’t care. Bran just said “I knew it.” How the hell?? That kid’s weird.

 **MARGAERY** : bran always knows everything. i suspect he has security cameras placed strategically around town that no one else knows about.

 **LORAS** : Arya’s hitting Jon with a pool noodle. Hold on, I’m going to take a video of that for you.

 **MARGAERY** : it’s like christmas!!!

 **LORAS** : Done. Now Robb wants to know how long this has been going on. Jon has the decency to look sheepish. Six months! Points to me for knowing the WHOLE TIME. Take THAT, “I knew it” BRANDON!

 **LORAS** : Robb has insisted that Jon zip his trousers back up. Sansa looks like she disapproves of this decision. Ten pounds says they fuck in the car on the way home.

 **MARGAERY** : well, obviously.

 **ARYA** : HE DESERVED THE POOL NOODLE

 **MARGAERY** : i take it the argument has dissipated?

 **ARYA** : sansa said she’d buy me lunch tomorrow if i -found my chill- so i’ve removed myself from the conversation in attempts to avoid homicide

 **MARGAERY** : you are surprisingly easy to placate

 **LORAS** : I hate to say I told you so, but I also told you not to say I didn’t warn you about walking in on them. So… yeah, I told you so.

 **ARYA** : everyone i know is an arsehole

 **LORAS** : :D

 **MARGAERY** : ;)

* * *

_epilogue: the end_

**JON** : I still can’t believe you tried to kill me with a pool noodle. Loras took a video! He posted it on Facebook!

 **ARYA** : seeing as you also -finally- posted your relationship status on facebook, i think it balances out. dickon offers his congrats, btw.

 **JON** : I also can’t believe you were in cahoots with the Tyrells AND Dickon Tarly. The most ragtag gang of all time. I feel like I’ve been thrust into some alternate universe.

 **ARYA** : um, you’re fucking my sister, so the feeling’s mutual

 **JON** : Do you have to be so CRASS?

 **ARYA** : i’m sorry. you’re ~making love~ to my sister.

 **ARYA** : and i know for a FACT that you’re sending her dirty messages right now, so don’t come at me with “crass,” okay

 **JON** : …she’s not showing them to you, is she?

 **ARYA** : god, no, stick a fork in my eye. i asked her who she was talking to and she said “jon’s trying to seduce me again.” while we’re having LUNCH. in a RESTAURANT. you ANIMAL.

 **JON** : You’ve been having lunch for three hours! Give me my girlfriend back!!

 **ARYA** : it’s bottomless margaritas!!! you can have her back when i’m dead!!!!!

 **ARYA** : the tequila is going to sansa’s head. she seems to think it’s acceptable to tell me that you’re “insatiable.” i’m going to be ill. and then i’m taking sansa to a spa weekend so she can get some REST, you fucking neanderthal.

 **JON** : Look, Gendry and I are on standby to pick you two up when you’ve finished. Unless an ambulance gets to you first on account of the alcohol poisoning, in which case we’ll meet you at the hospital.

 **JON** : Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m ignoring you for the rest of the evening.

 **ARYA** : why, so you can try to seduce my sister???

 **JON** : Hey, she’s the one who told you I’m insatiable. And since when has Sansa been wrong about me?

 **ARYA** : BLOCKED

___

 **JON** : Dirty thoughts aside… I do love you, Sansa.

 **SANSA** : I love you, too, Jon.

 **SANSA** : Now keep telling me what you’re gonna do with me when I come home to yours.

 **JON** : I never could say no to you… ;)


End file.
